Being You

I encounter inner conflict at times, especially when faced with a situation full of confrontation. Do I back down? Do I always give in? Should I just smile and nod and turn in the other directions? Do I just sacrifice my feelings for the sake of the other? To practice tolerance, compassion, and forgiveness does not mean that we should make ourselves a doormat for other people's misuse. For starters, we should always remember that we are as deserving as anyone else, of our kindness, our compassion, and our love. The Buddha said ''that we could search the entire universe and we would not find anyone more worthy of our love than we ourselves are.'' So putting ourselves in a position where our feelings are ignored, our voice is not heard, and our wants and needs are neglected is not practicing compassion or love towards ourselves. All relationships, encounters, and connections we make in this life must be circular

in nature. We all seek balance, it is the nature of our existence, of our being.

The Buddhist path is often a cloudy and misunderstood one. It is not a practice of passivity, where one should retreat to a mountain top and become disengaged with the world, only to find oneself. Although retreating to oneself is a good practice from time to time. Instead, it is about being fully engaged in one's life, relationships around, and the world within the universe!

In the Sadhana of Mahamudra, Chogyam Trungpa described the wisdom of a fully realized being:

He is inseparable from peacefulness and yet he acts whenever action is required. He subdues what needs to be subdued, he destroys what needs to be destroyed and he cares for whatever needs his care.

If being inseparable from peacefulness and yet acting whenever action is required seems paradoxical, that's good. As Zen master Suzuki Roshi said, ''if something isn't paradoxical, it isn't true.''

Sometimes that means retreating from the situation and giving it space. Sometimes it means sitting down and having a conversation, and sharing your perspective. Sometimes it means standing up and shouting what you believe to be required. Sometimes it means walking away entirely, and never looking back. Sometimes it means giving someone a gift to show that you care.

In a ''Dharmic world'' there is no predetermined course of action to our quarrels, disagreements or to our clash. We must strive to meet each situation that arises with fresh awareness and open heart, and we must do our best to remain true to who we wish to be and respond in whatever way is most beneficial to our cause.

Being a doormat is never a healthy option.