Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Thinking

In the midst of what I feel, it is unavoidable, this process I call ''change''. I say unavoidable because my soul, desires a higher ascension.

My mind is laid on the chopping block of transformation, my body struggles to reach a passage to versatility, all the while, my souls desires sit, trapped, in the cave of distrust. Collectively this is my spirit and my spirit is afraid, I will not pretend this is not so. I fixate my mind on the self responsibility of abandoning all that is old and this turns my thoughts to anxious diffidence. At times, to trust the process requires more than what I hold.

I am in a chamber, surrounded by walls of self desire, unable to locate the doorway that leads to the meadows of abundant faith.
The strength of those walls comes from the lack of discipline within, unable to bring about a change in heart and mind.
The rare moments that my discipline provides me with a sense of faith and a trust in knowing, a window, of inner peace, appears, presenting a dilemma in this complex process of ascension. The window yields an inner warmth and a certain comfort in knowing that I am in command of my journey, but this window allows the rays of frustration to permeate my space. I am unable to escape, completely, only able to see beyond the chains.

I have come to understand that evolution, of any and all, requires ''drastic change'', this is imperative. If I want to grow, than I must change. We all possess the mapping to higher ascension, but do our spirits possess the strength?

The IC Blog: Learning loveliness

The IC Blog: Learning loveliness: " .....sometimes it is necessary to reteach a thing its loveli..."

Friday, April 8, 2011

I am in the midst of what I feel is an unavoidable process called ''change''. I say unavoidable because my soul desires a higher ascension and a certain clarity.

My mind is laid at the altar of transformation, my body is fighting for the passage to versatility, all while my soul sits trapped in the cave of distrust. Collectively my spirit sit in fear, I will not pretend this is not so. I fixate my mind on the self responsibility of abandoning all that is old and this turns my thoughts to distressed insecurity. To trust the process requires more that I have sometimes.

Seriously, most of my time is spent in a cell surrounded by walls of self desire, not surrounded by the meadows of abundant faith.

The strength of those walls comes from the knowing of what is required and from the lacking of discipline to actually change the heart and mind.

The rare moments that my discipline provides me with a sense of faith and a trust in knowing, a window, of inner peace, appears, presenting another inconsistency in this complex process of ascension. The window brings about frustration because I am unable to escape, only being able to see beyond what is holding me back. The window, all the while, allowing a certain ray of comfort to shine in on my ideals. It brings me a certain warmth.

I have come to understand that evolution, of any and all, requires ''drastic change'', this is imperative. If I want growth than I must change.

We all possess the blueprint for higher ascension, but do we all possess the spirit?