OK!, Today is the day that we discover our own greatness. Think of the time that the very first Pharaoh's Tomb was discovered or the tip of the rib bone to the first T-REX was uncovered or the very first neighbouring galaxy was sighted. Knowing our greatness exceeds any of these discoveries, by a long shot. Believe it. Trust it. Share it!

Favours

A friend of mine is laid up with a terrible sprain, out of commission for 2 to 3 weeks. Her movement and mood are at the mercy of crutches, tensor bandages, ibuprofen, and the help of others. Immobility is an awful ailment in these fast movie times.

I was visiting with her yesterday and she was reliving the harsh moment of her twisted fall when she mentioned to me that she guesses this will be a good time to call in all her favours, owed from friends and family alike. My friend made it sound like she had a pod somewhere that she has been uploading favour to over the years. This statement got me thinking, thinking about about all of our favour pods. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we spent our life filling up our favour pods?

It's only January 6th, is it too late too make a resolution? A collective resolution from all of us to help one another in times of need. Go ahead start uploading to your favour pod.

''SHOT GUN!''

Growing up in a family of 8 had it's challenges, that's for sure.

I was the second youngest of 6 - three boys and three girls.

My younger sister arriving on the scene was the beginning of my vague remembrances of being a kid, at 207 Penn Avenue.

I was 41/2 years, when my sister showed, and up to that point I had been the baby of the family. It doesn't sound like much but being the baby in a family with 5 children has advantages. one of those advantages was that I was the one child, that was allowed to sit in the front with Mom and Dad, when the family took a trip in the car. No one else was allowed in the front, just me with Mom and Dad, enjoying the comforts of our cozy bench seat, an unobstructed view out the front windshield, total control of the push button radio was mine, and on the days that Dad was in a real good mood, I would be asked to click the turn signal lever either up or down depending on a left or right turn.

Now, behind me, was a different setting. Even though I rarely turned to look over the edge of the seat, I could tell, by the sounds that echoed. It was a virtual hell in the back rows of seating in the rear of our station wagon. There were constant thuds on the back of my seat, loud screams, tearful cries, nasty coughs, shrieking yells, and countless slaps and punches being shared. The back seat was the reason for countless threats from my father to ''pull over'', ''turn around'', ''never take us out again'', and worst of all is when he would force the words ''don't make me come back there'' over his lips. These words were enough to bring a short silence to the crew behind me but they were never enough to eliminate the shenanigans all together.

Like I said, the privilege of riding up front meant that I had no worries, I was safe. I was in solitary confinement with no threat of being asked to join the general population. That was, until my little baby sister arrived. I will never forget the first ride we took after her birth.

We were headed to the grandparents, it was a sunny Sunday morning. I bolted through the front door of our tiny home and leaped past the 4 steps of the veranda and dashed to the front door of the car. Waiting, like a dog after hearing the word ''walk'', for my father to insert the key and open the door for me to enter my private, luxurious, suite. As my Father swung around the front of the car, having just assisting my Mother and sister through the opposite door, he spoke the words that changed my life for ever. As he put his had on my left shoulder. He bent slightly and almost with a grin in his voice he whispered, just loud enough for all to hear ''hey sport jump in the back, your baby sis has to sit up front with her Mom''. What did he mean ''her mom''? That was my Mom. Did he just ask me to jump in the back seat? My heart sank, hell, it stopped. My breath was gone and even though I was only 41/2 I began to sweat profusely. As I looked back and into the rear door window, my older brothers and sister were all sitting calmly, they were motionless, and everyone of them was looking in my direction. I swear I could see drool falling from there lips. they looked like tigers at the zoo as the meat was about to be tossed over the bars. 

FRIDAY, MARCH 12, 2010

the rain, where I come from

falls straight down, blocking the summer sun

it has two shadows, most every time

thunder rumbles, lightning shines

It comes in many different forms

the best is when it comes in storms

storms, my favourite, I must tell

make me wonder, make me yell

for everyone close by to see

the leaves are ripped right off the trees

the birds, they circle in the sky

heaven on edge, about to cry?

the wind begins to show its will

temperature drop. Is that a chill?

darkness falls, surrounds us all

It seems as though the world may stall

''here it comes'', the rain hard-hitting

blitzing the ground, never sitting

vapour rising, all around

most thankful for it all, the ground

It’s quick to come and quicker to go

unless at night, it decides to show

It’s very swift from start to stop

like stepping from the ledge, far drop

the wind has calmed, the sun shines through

the storm is gone, the sky is blue

the heart slows down, the feeling spent

somewhere, someone, the message sent

the rain where I come from

falls straight down over the summer sun

R Aylwin

o7/06

what would love do?

Why is it so difficult for all of us to just share the love and joy that resides inside us? Is it because we struggle at even being able to find that love and joy let alone tap into it?

Think of how many times in a day you are faced with or are facing someone with an opportunity to share love. An opportunity where love would make everything better. Even if only a little bit better.

Instead, what usually happens, is that the opportunity is wasted. So many other emotions tug at us. Greed, deciet, anger, jealousy, envy, revenge, shame, and pity to name a few.

It is so so simple to just love. Demonstrate that love with kindness and happiness. Resist the urge to do anything else. A hug, a smile, a kiss, a kind word, even a kind gesture. Why is it so impossible?

Explain it if you can, callenge it. Look around. Marriages reaking like cheap glasses, siblings battleing over the sillyest things, friends not talking, strangers cursing, politicians decieving, countries battleing, planets dying. I'm sorry but i just dont get it. Not any longer.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 17, 2010

Kindness

I try to remember that we all vibrate at different frequencies, all living things. I try to remember that my vibration is just different from others, it is not higher or lower. I try to remember that blaming others for my own unhappiness is a big mistake. I try to remember that we are all equal. I try to remember that we all want happiness. I try to remember that some friendships are for a day, some are for a week, some for a year, and some for a lifetime. I try to remember that people enter and leave our lives when needed as a natural contribution from the universe. I try to remember that we all love. I try to remember that we all want love. I try to remember that kindness is in all. I try to remember that kindness is all.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 12, 2010

How do we sleep at night?

I was driving home from work the other day and I was following a convertible Mustang when eye noticed that the roof of the car had a big slash that was repaired using duct tape. Well, this got me thinking about how little security we really have when it comes to protecting ourselves and our stuff. All that separates the outside world from your home is a few locks or even worse, a few panes of glass. That's it! Someone could get into my home in a flash if they really wanted to just by smashing a window. My windows are really not keeping anyone out. So what really keeps them out? Better judgement? Honesty? Risk of punishment? No incentive to steal my stuff? On my travels through India, a few years back, eye noticed that stuff over there is really locked up. Doors with cages and padlocks, windows with bars, gated entrances to hotels and apartments, armed guards standing tall. No one putting a lot of faith in the windows in that part of the world. I guess, the reason we trust windows and vinyl tops on cars is because more of us have than have not, in this country, so the odds are very low that someone will break through our insecure security.

It's too bad we have to worry about this type of thing at all.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 9, 2010

Matter vs. Spirit

Have you ever been in a room full of friends and felt like a stranger? I have been experiencing this sensation as of late and can only come to one conclusion as to why this is happening. In the last 4 years I have been seeking changes in my life, new relationships, new career, new surroundings, a new path sort of speak. When I began the journey of seeking a new path I realized that some relationships would change, but to the extent they have, I did not. I am not saying that all of my friendship will perish and I do realize new ones will begin but like I said earlier there are more and more days were I sit in the company of friends and feel surrounded by strangers.

Most of the friends I speak of still operate out of the world of matter, consumed with material ambitions and full of material concerns. I am doing my best to leave that thinking behind. I am trying to operate my life from a spiritual world. Being surrounded by the chatter of how much one owns or how much one spends or what one has just does not hold my attention. Where you live?What you do? What you drive? Just doesn't seem to matter any longer. Who you are? What is inside you? This is what I am looking to explore and discuss. Am I the only one?

THURSDAY, JANUARY 7, 2010

Deep Inside Us All

There is a part in all of us, a piece of us, that can be found deep inside our soul that is pure and tender, warm and caring.

We have been hurt or damaged or abused over the years and so that warm and tender gets stashed away, rarely allowed to explore the outside world.

We let it out every once in awhile, usually around those we put trust in, to protect it. As far as I am concerned we never let it out enough. As we age some of us realize that it just doesn't matter and we let it out more and more to the point were we become that warm, tender, fun loving soul. Yet, others of us, bottle it up to the point were they can't even remember where it is. This may explain some of the grumpy old souls we know that walk around snapping and barking at everyone and everything.

I say we all start trusting a little more, let the tenderness out more often. Don't be afraid. The world is not that big and bad and believe it or not there are more tender souls waiting out there, waiting to exchange, more than you can ever imagine.

Zeitgiest - Moving Forward

Man, some days I just want to scream and shout.

Seriously I am a bundle of mixed emotions and I really think a good rant and rave would help me at this point. So here it goes.

Is it my age ...50? Is it the times that surround me? Is it just the part of the planet that I inhabit?

I attended the Zeitgeist Moving Forward movie premier this weekend, check out the trailer on YouTube if you get a chancehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYLLFpNn4lM

The frustration and joy I felt leaving the theatre was very conflicting.

I was surprised by the amount of people that joined in on this premier, close to 200, remembering I watched this movie in Barrie, Ontario, Canada, very impressive for a relatively small community.

Why only 200 people? Why were we not lined up around the block.? Like I said, mixed emotions, happy that 200 people actual showed up but disappointed that the crowd was not lined up around the block.

What the fuck are we doing? What are we thinking? We are living in an age of awfulness and yet we don't even seem to be paying attention to it all. Are we lost in the day to day grind of life? Are we being amused just enough to suppress our outrage? Or am I just whining in a world that is doing great? I can't seem to get a grip on that last selection. We are not fine, seriously, look at yourself for starters. If you are not sitting in dis-ease then you have it close to you. If you are not sitting in poverty then you are sitting next to it. If you are not heaped in debt, then you are one of the very few in your circle. The family unit has been redefined to suit our stressed out needs. Occupations are changing so that few of us have the stability required to really enjoy living in comfort. The rich are getting richer and the poor are growing in numbers, middle class is disappearing. It no longer exists in most of the ''civilized'' world, it has long been gone in great nations like China and India, the continent of Africa is overwhelmed with poverty and dis-ease, and if you open you eyes you will notice it is disappearing in the west as well. The American Empire is coming to an end and we in the west are feeling it as our banks and ''blue chip' businesses faltering and fall apart. Sounds scary right? But so required to move us all forward. Come on, we need change, we need an ''event'' that will unite the planet.

I urge you to check out the latest Zeitgeist Movie and please view it with an open mind. I am old enough to know this and my older friends have been onto it for years. The system is flawed and has been for a very long time. It's not just the west, its every where. the far east, the middle east, western and eastern Europe, and the last frontier are all messed up.

There is something wrong with the way we are all living or how we are all being forced to live and this movement is a fresh look at how to make things better for all involved, including mother earth.

MONDAY, AUGUST 16, 2010

Dad passed away

My father passed away recently.

It was unexpected, I would like to say it was a surprise but that seems to indicate an element of excitement and that was just not so. He was 79, was in the hospital of knee replacement surgery, a routine procedure and it all turned sour, complications arose and spun out of control and after dealing with a few weeks of confusion my Dad passed.

We lived a great distant apart and under the circumstance which contained that element of surprise? I was unable to get to him before he passed on.

I was, however, able to talk with him hours before he left us and looking back I believe we both realized something was different and that maybe it would be the last time we would be speaking. We chatted about his condition and predicament and he seemed to be himself. A little grumpy from all the mishaps that were occurring in his life at the hospital but having a sense of humour about it all. He expressed how he just wanted to go home. Did he mean home to my mother, or home to the other side. I'm not quite sure what the answer would be to that question.

My Dad lived a full life, really full. Spending his early life with his folks and 2 brothers living through the tough and rough times of the 30's and 40's. Finding and falling for my mother as a very young man. Most of his life's energy went into raising 6 kids of his own, finding and maintaining a fulfilling career to feed and entertain us all, and being a big part of the lives of 14 grand children. My Dad must have loved being with family, I know he loved being around people and the activity which included them. He loved laughter and provided the world we live in with lots of it. He was never really one for accumulating things. He was about family and the experience which came with them.

Since his passing, I think of my Dad often. I don't really miss him in the way you miss something, he just has a way of creeping into my thoughts, often. I wonder what he was thinking while he was living the last few hours of his life? What were those last minutes like? Was he happy with the way things turned out? Was he even aware that he was passing? I have so many questions for him and I am beginning to question my own mortality as well. I wish to believe that he would have loved what he accomplished in this life. He was a humble man who made simple demands on life. He was one of the good guys.

Life is not about the things you have or what you own. The external life slips away from you in those last minutes before you pass, I'm sure of this. Do you think that as that happens we are blessed with knowing that what we may have been searching for was right there inside us, and it was there all along? That in the very end we see and know ourselves for who we really are?

I will believe that my Dad passed with a smile, a smile within his heart.

I will believe he passed with a knowing.

SUNDAY, JULY 25, 2010

i hear you heart cry from the pain

it hurts to do this all again

my love for you was never right

always too dark in need of light

i'm trying but its getting late

why is it your heart so full of hate

it's time to wake its time to know

i am the one don't let me go

i hear you heart cry from the pain

it hurts to do this all again

my answer is to hold on tight

something telling me we'll be alright

if you must go my heart will break

our love will shatter within it's quake

babe hold me tight and love me so

look in your heart and you will know

i hear your heart cry from the pain

it hurts to do this all again

its time to heal the hurt inside

no longer wanting you to hide

tomorrow shares with us the new

my love for you was always true

my heart cries from the pain

it hurts to do this all again

SATURDAY, JULY 24, 2010

holly knight and mike chapman were so right on when they wrote the words ''love is a battlefield''.

anyone that has loved or been loved knows this all too well.

we wander from battle to battle looking for serenity, finding it briefly but eventually the battle begins (this, i believe, is when ego enters the relationship).

we lose sight, the calmness that we are searching for can not be found in our lover, partner, friend, but only found within. when we figure this out the battle ceases to exist.

SATURDAY, JUNE 26, 2010

Learn to trust yourself.

When did we stop trusting ourselves? We were born, miracles of good, pure and true. We were given the gift of intuition. it was placed in us and it remains with us for ever. From life to life we carry this with us, it is necessary for survival.

From the beginning we are told that we are good and that we are bad, all based on the perception of others and this judgement impedes are natural ability to believe in ourselves. We begin to walk a path of imitation in a circle of wrong doing. The more we are told of our inadequacies the more we believe them and the more we believe them the more we rely on the perception of others. We develop a fear of ourselves of our own feelings, we question our being, essentially burying our true ''feelings''. We distrust our intuition and we spend our lives running from our feelings. Keeping so busy and chasing anything that moves is our way of avoiding looking and finding those feelings.

We must learn to trust ourselves again.

When we realize that we are good and pure life becomes clearer, simplicity sets in. We become calmer and more balanced and we understand that happiness is within us.

Trust yourself, you're so worth it!

SUNDAY, MAY 30, 2010

The Energy Vampire

Tell me if you are tired of having individuals in our life that only seem to take from you?Nothing ever seeming to come back from them?

I call them Energy Vampires and I can tell you they are all around you. They are every where. It almost feels as if they plug right into you, draining you of all your energy, and the minute you have nothing left to offer they unplug and they are on their way. Their departure is usually accompanied with lots of anger, resentment, and blame. The Energy Vampire for some reason feels compelled to make a lot of noise as they unplug. Is this a distraction technique? Used to keep you off balance? Maybe?

Once you have identified an Energy Vampire it becomes so much easier to identify the next one. They are usually filled with dis-ease. They have a tendency to stress that life has somehow victimized them. The Energy Vampire is a taker in the relationship. They create nothing. They take from you emotionally and physically. They steal from both worlds.

They ask so much of you. They require assistance in almost all activities. They contribute little! They are narcissistic in nature and like I said earlier, the minute you have nothing left to offer as far as fresh ideas, good feelings, and positive thoughts, they unplug and want nothing to do with you. The ending of the relationship is usually blamed on you, and you are left wondering ''what the heck happened'' all the while feeling completely drained.

Look out for them, keeping your eye's wide open and your chakras wide shut. Do not be afraid to disassociate from these individuals. If you are able, do your best to educate them by illuminating their behavior. I believe many of them are unaware that they even exist. Be sure to save yourself at all costs. If you have a friendship in question, one that you continually review, this may be the problem.

Save yourself a whole lot of time and energy by unplugging these individuals and allowing them their chance to squirm out of your life.

Save yourself!

SUNDAY, MARCH 28, 2010

birthday??

On the eve of my 49th birthday, I sit in bed, pondering.

My day of creation is to be celebrated. The day I chose to arrive. What is its significance?

I also chose this vessel, this time, this place, this everything.

Why?

As I said ''I sit in bed, pondering''